Hi everyone! I just wanted to share our newest video! This one is mainly for other step moms. When I first became a step mother, I was surprised how hard it was to find people who understood what I was dealing with. There are so many blended families out there, I thought that most people would have advice and be able to help me navigate all these new situations I found myself faced with. There are people out there and there are great support systems, but it took me awhile to find them. In the meantime, I learned different ways to deal with our issues on my own. It involved a lot of trial and error, (mostly error. lol) but we are now pretty well adjusted….most days.
I made this video to share the top 10 things that I’ve learned to help with the blended family dynamic. They aren’t so much rules, as they are just things I’ve picked up along the way. It’s my hope that sharing them will help someone, somewhere. So, here they are!
- Don’t take it personally when they don’t like you. (they meaning the step kids, the ex, the mother in law….etc)
- Attachments and bonds take lots of time (so have a little patience & give it time)
- Always be the bigger person
- Always be a grown up
- Learn what is black, what’s white and what’s grey. (Which boundaries are set in stone, which ones don’t matter, & which ones are negotiable)
- Don’t expect any “thank yous” or pats on the back (…and you may want to lower most of your expectations, in general)
- Don’t rush to change things & don’t change too many things at once
- Remember to have fun with your family
- Even though extra kids means extra stress, frustration, craziness, noise…etc. More kids also means more joy, more fun & more love
- You ARE NOT ALONE!
In the video, I go a little more in depth about each of these. Seeing them typed out like this makes me feel a bit squeamish, as I really don’t ever want to seem like I’m on a podium giving a lecture. I say all of these things only because I’ve learned them the hard way too many times. I don’t want to lecture, just share a little of the insight that I’ve gained as we have grown together as a family. I’m sure I have plenty more to learn…and I will, in the years to come. We are entering the teenage years now, so wish me luck! haha.
If you ever feel like you need some support or you want to chat, you can reach me here via the comments, on facebook, on YouTube or at email@example.com . I would love to help in any way I can, even if it’s just to be a listening ear. I know that motherhood has the capacity to make you feel incredibly lonely at times, so it’s my goal to help other moms in any way that I can. Also, if you have any advice for me that you would like to share, I would love to read it! I am not an expert and still have so much to learn. If you have more experience, i would love to hear from you!